Broke...
Yeah, it sucks being broke. It sucks being broke and not being able to dose. It sucks being broke and not being able to afford gas. It sucks being broke and being hungry because last week I blew about $200 on smack. It sucks being broke and feeling like shit and having to go home to a girl who doesn't really make it any easier because all she wants to do is complain about feeling like shit and lay down on the bed, getting mad at me because I don't want to lay down, because I can't lay down because I got this RLS and anxiety that makes me feel like I'm going to explode any minute into a gillion highly aggitated little fucking peices.
In reality, I've been clean for 3 days. In reality, it's been 6 days since I've actually gotten high. I have been trying to scrape my bowl lately. It looks all funny with just the mouthpiece part scraped. I've been trying to hit the last bit of resin inside, and I've actually gotten a little stoned because of it. I wish I at least had some pot. Oh well... Not much I can do now. It's the 3rd day and I feel like shit and there ain't a goddamn thing I can do about it. I wonder how far I'll go, though. I have no idea, because I don't get paid until the 15th and neither does my girl, so it seems like it could be a longass time. Definitely looks like it'll be a longass time. We'll see what happens. I feel like shit.
In reality, I've been clean for 3 days. In reality, it's been 6 days since I've actually gotten high. I have been trying to scrape my bowl lately. It looks all funny with just the mouthpiece part scraped. I've been trying to hit the last bit of resin inside, and I've actually gotten a little stoned because of it. I wish I at least had some pot. Oh well... Not much I can do now. It's the 3rd day and I feel like shit and there ain't a goddamn thing I can do about it. I wonder how far I'll go, though. I have no idea, because I don't get paid until the 15th and neither does my girl, so it seems like it could be a longass time. Definitely looks like it'll be a longass time. We'll see what happens. I feel like shit.
posted by bonkers at 10:18 AM
1 Comments:
Hey,thanks for your comment,i came over to visit and I see where you're at,now I completely understand what you were saying,mate you're in an aweful place at the moment.I HATE that and I wouldn't trade that's for sure.You can get passed all this,you know it deep down,it seems,no,IS a HUGE bloody mountain but once you start climbing,well,it' one foot after the other obviously.It took me a very long time to reach where I'm at.It wont get any better until you make some decisions and then act upon them-I hate this sounding like the lecture we all know,I'm just trying to reassure you that you can get to the place where you like yourself again,what you're doing to your life.You wouldn't believe what I put myself thru' and for how long,perhaps you would.It was SHITFUL,I hated it and regret most of it,time demolished,health demolished,creativity and therefore ability to earn devastated.Fuck it,heroin addiction is a nasty shit unless you're some rich junky and then it'd be not such a big deal-the dope doesn't kill you.Anyway,that was a long one wasn't it?Sister in arms,Bella.
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