I'm not sure...

I'm not sure if it's about to get really bad or really good. It really could go either way. Kinda in a weird place right now... a sorta limbo of feelings. Although, I must say, for the moment anyways, I'm fairly happy. I dunno if it's the dope or what. There seems to be some money coming in, but it could just as easily go out or blow up in my face fairly violent-like. Pretty confusing stuff.

Well, I got a good check today. A good check could be on it's way. Feelin' good overall at the moment, but probably using too much. You know, it's one of those things that you're sure you're going to be regretting and kicking yourself for later, wishing that you had conserved in some manner, but at the moment, it seems fairly logical and fun to do. I got some free smokes today and that's cool. Sometimes it seems things are going your way. I can't get too excited, though, bracing myself for the potential worst. Ah, well, might as well go with it while you got it. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, ya know?

Anyways, I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on, hanging in there and the like. Gonna see how this goes and hope I don't fuck up too bad. <--- (probably going to be the subject of horrible foreshadowing)