Okay Weekend...

This weekend was okay. We broke down an scored some H on Friday, but it was new stuff and it was horrible stuff. Hate to waste the money, but maybe the guy'll learn. So basically went four or five days without anything, then got a little bt of OC last night. It wasn't much, but it gave a decent buzz. I really don't mind that we've cut down so drastically. Way too much money was spent. It's better this way, and gives opiates a little more respect. If we can get some once more in the next 10 day, we'll be lucky. It's crazy how this happens.

So, I do feel okay at the moment. No WD yet, and I figure it can't be very bad this time around, because we seriously haven't been doing much lately. The last time we really got high was like last Tuesday. Well, I'll try to keep my mind off of it. I need to focus on work, anyways. School, too. And living a healthy and happy life with the girl I want to spend the rest of it with. I've been reading about people ODing on Vitamin C to get through WD, so I figure if I get particularly lethargic, I'll get some of the powdered stuff and do a couple grams. Anyways, I gots to keep on keepin' on...

It's been a couple days...

So, it's been a couple days since my last hit of the horse. Well, except for a little upset stomach this morning, I feel pretty good. I feel much better than I did earlier this week. It feels good to not do any H and for the first time in a while, I'm actually not having any problem with the cravings. It's cool, really it is.

I don't have much to say today. I went through a performace review at work yesterday and it turns out that I'm gonna be getting a raise, which is definitely going to be helpful, although not for quitting heroin. Still, I have a bunch of responsibilities that I've been blowing off for a long time that are gonna creep up on me soon. What I'll do about it, I'm not entirely sure at the moment; I really just want to feel good being off opiates.

On another note, I've been drinking and smoking a lot of pot. Now, I've always been known to smoke a lot of pot, but drinking hasn't much been my thing. However, it might be growing on me. I know I'm just trading one addiction for another, but like I said, I've almost always smoked pot, and drinking is much less destructive and expensive than opiates. Ah, well, what's a man to do? Smoke a cigarette? Yeah, I gotta stop doing that, too. Damn it.

We'll see...

We'll see how this goes, I guess. I hate having to roll with the punches, but I always end up having to anyways. I just procrastinate like hell. I procrastinate to the point that if I don't do something right away, I'm most certainly pretty fucked. So that's how I am with this whole debt thing... most certainly pretty fucked.

I'm not sure what they can do, though. If you don't know, I took out a bunch of payday loans and defaulted pretty badly on just about all of them. I probably owe something like $3000, and they keep saying that they are gonna take me to court, but I keep thinking, why the hell would I show up? Anyways, I should probably go to one of those free credit counseling services or something, and maybe at least they can tell the collectors that they won't be seeing any money anytime soon.

So I dosed last night like I figured I would and the withdrawal is finally gone. I went 3 days without doing any, so I was able to get substantially high last night for relatively little. I know it'll be a while, probably around 5 days, before I can dose again, but the WD shouldn't be too bad this time around. If I do end up with a bit of WD, I'm probably gonna be smoking a bunch of weed or drinking my ass off. Withdrawal not only sucks because of how I feel physically, but I really withdrawal psychologically, and I hate to do that to my girl. She ends up thinking I'm upset with her or unhappy with her. Ah, well, I should be alright tonight.